Dealing with a client who crosses emotional boundaries. Are you ready to establish clear limits?

I work with both youths and adults and have adapted my approach when working with younger clients. Initially, I believed that as long as I respected others' boundaries, mine would be respected in return. However, I quickly learned that without clearly defined boundaries, they can easily shift. Now, I start by introducing myself and clearly stating my boundaries to clients while also asking for theirs. This mutual understanding fosters respect and helps prevent any unintended boundary crossings. I've found this proactive approach to be far more effective than addressing boundaries after they've been crossed.

I've learning that setting up expectations with clients is useful. For example, in couples counselling I will start the first session by setting up safety. We all come to an agreement about how we can be sensitive to each other and how we will treat each other during therapy. I give examples of what questions I might ask and ask for permission to take certain actions when a couple's protective response is triggered. I also make clear that I am not the 'referee' and arguing is to be left outside of the session. Setting up these expectations have helped clients relax into the session, avoids miscommunication, or unconfortable conversations later on.